The Cost of Being the Strong One

If you’re always the one who holds it all together, this is for you. Learn how reclaiming your feminine energy can restore your balance, leadership, and joy.

You are the strong one - the one people turn to when things get tough. The one who keeps the team steady when the pressure rises, who steps in without being asked, who fixes what’s broken at work, at home, even in the group chat. You take responsibility, make the decisions, keep things moving. You don’t drop the ball. You don’t show the cracks.

Maybe, like me, you’ve worn that role like a badge of honor. It’s how you’ve built your reputation. It’s why people trust you. It’s what you’ve been praised for.

But let me ask you something, gently and from experience:

What has it cost you?

Because when being strong becomes who you are, when it becomes the only way you know how to show up, it starts to chip away at something quieter, deeper. You hold space for everyone else, but rarely feel held yourself. You’re always giving, always doing, always carrying, but at some point, the weight begins to show.

Not on the outside. On the inside.

And the cost isn’t just your energy. It’s your wholeness.

When Masculine Energy Becomes a Survival Strategy

We all carry both masculine and feminine energy—regardless of gender. We need both. Masculine energy gives us structure, focus, drive. Feminine energy offers intuition, creativity, presence, and flow.

But in today’s world - especially for women in leadership - masculine energy becomes the air we breathe. It’s rewarded, respected, expected.

We learn to lead with action. To deliver, perfect, push forward and push back. We become composed, strategic, always in control. We plan. Execute. Solve. Provide.

And we do it well. It gets results.

But here’s the quiet cost - we forget how to receive, to soften, to rest.

Because somewhere along the way, we were taught that softness is weakness. That asking for help means we’re not capable. That emotions make us less professional.

Especially in male-dominated industries like tech, finance, manufacturing, we unconsciously suppress the very qualities that make our leadership uniquely powerful.

The Hidden Cost of Over-functioning

When you’re constantly in doing mode, fixing mode, solving mode, you disconnect from your body. You suppress your intuition. You numb your needs—until they show up as burnout, resentment, anxiety, or even physical health issues.

So many high-achieving women I know (myself included) have experienced this as hormonal imbalances, fertility struggles, chronic fatigue, or just an unshakable feeling of disconnection.

And perhaps worst of all, you start believing this is just how it is supposed to be.

But it’s not.

There’s another way - a softer, wiser, more sustainable way to lead and live.

Reclaiming Your Feminine Energy

If you’ve been living in overdrive, here’s what I want you to know - your feminine energy isn’t gone. It’s just been waiting for space.

And no, reconnecting with it doesn’t mean you stop being ambitious or capable. True feminine leadership is powerful - it moves with wisdom, compassion, and unshakable clarity. It leads from inner alignment, not outer pressure. It doesn’t push—it pulls. It doesn’t hustle—it flows.

Here are a few ways you can begin reconnecting with that part of yourself:

Practice Receiving

Many of us resist help because we think it makes us look weak or incapable. But receiving is a skill and it’s essential.

Let people support you. Accept the compliment. Say yes when someone offers to carry something - physically or emotionally.

Receiving doesn’t diminish your strength. It completes it.

Notice the discomfort that comes up, and remind yourself: receiving isn’t weakness.

Express, Don’t Suppress

Feminine energy lives in the body, not the mind. It thrives in emotional expression. When we push down how we feel to “stay professional” or “hold it together,” we lose access to our full intelligence.

Find safe spaces to feel. Journal. Dance. Cry. Laugh. Be witnessed.

What you express doesn’t weaken your leadership—it deepens it.

Practice checking in with yourself:

• What am I feeling right now?

• Where is that feeling in my body?

• What does this part of me need?

Let softness be a strength.

Create Space for Stillness

If your calendar is always packed, if silence feels unfamiliar—this is your invitation.

Create space for stillness. It doesn’t have to be hours of meditation - a quiet tea ritual, a walk without your phone, a few minutes of deep breathing before your next meeting.

Stillness is where your intuition speaks.

Let yourself be, without doing.

Lead with Curiosity, Not Control

In your next meeting or conversation, practice listening without jumping to fix. Ask open-ended questions. Let the solution emerge, instead of forcing it.

This builds trust. It invites others to rise.

It re-centers your leadership in presence, not performance.

Tools for the Journey

📚 Books:

• Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes (the must!)

• Do Less by Kate Northrup

• The Awakened Woman by Dr. Tererai Trent

• Witch by Lisa Lister

🎧 Podcasts:

• Feminine Frequency by Amy Natalie

• The Cathy Heller Show

• On Purpose by Jay Shetty

🌿 Practices:

• Feminine embodiment (free dance, yin yoga, self-massage)

• Cycle syncing your schedule (if you menstruate)

• Sensory rituals - sipping tea, slow walks, breathwork, journaling, painting.

Final Thoughts

You can be strong and soft.

You can hold space for others and let yourself be held.

You can lead boldly, with power and presence, without abandoning your intuition, your emotions, or your rest.

Feminine energy isn’t weakness. It’s not indulgent. It’s not impractical.

It’s the part of you that’s been whispering beneath the noise, asking you to return to yourself.

And when you lead from that place - balanced, whole, and fully expressed -everything changes.